Standing, Skywarp moved himself to his berth, falling gracelessly onto it and curling up.

He’d moved up from the floor. He was proud of himself.

Anonymous sent: And where the hell is you're mate when your lying there suffering.

around

places..

havent looked up

i dont know

leave me alone

Anonymous sent: At least you have Sunny there caring for you, right?

he’s here

but a part of my spark

is still gone

Anonymous sent: dude maybe you should talk to someone about this

why

He figured he should try to refuel properly - maybe that would make the pain go away. Somehow he doubted it, but focusing on the energon made the pain dull. He wanted to just let his frame fade away, but even through his despair, he knew he had someone else to look out for.

He shifted, picking up the cube, his shaky servos struggling to keep it still, and as a result, some of the energon splashed out of the cube and stained his chassis. He didn’t care. His chassis felt empty anyway.

He took a few sips before he carefully put the cube down, avoiding splashing anymore. There, he’d refueled. He’d live for another few days on those sips if he needed to.

Kicking the energon cube away from him, he curled back into a ball and focused on the dull ache that the energon caused his tanks. It was better than focusing on anything else.

He hadn’t moved since he had grabbed the energon cube earlier. It still lay beside him, half empty as he desperately tried to keep it down - the last thing he wanted to do was clean up a mess.

His frame shook as he focused on his tanks, ignoring the feeling in his spark as he slowly moved to lower his helm to rest on his legs, his arms keeping him in a nice, small compact form.

Every single part of him hurt, and every single part of him screamed that he deserved this. He hated himself - he hated that he did deserve this. He hated that he’d left.

But what was in the past was in the past.

He barely registered anything around him as he fell deeper and deeper into his despair and self-hatred, wondering just how Starscream had gone, and cursing himself for leaving, for not being there.

second-incommand sent: I've been where you've been, in a manner of speaking. Sad to say that pain doesn't go away--it only dulls with the passage of time. You either let it consume you, or you grow accustomed.

he’s gone

my spark feels heavy

empty

i left him

i deserve this

all of this 

it hurts, hurts..

Anonymous sent: Do you need anything?

for my spark

to stop

hurting

Anonymous sent: are you drowning your despair in high grade?

no..

regular grade..

Skywarp stood, his legs barely supporting him as he stumbled over to grab a cube of energon for himself. As soon as he picked it up, he dropped back to the floor, his whole frame feeling weighed down by the weight of the emptiness in his spark.

He stared at the cube for a while, wondering if he could even handle it.

Coolant threatened to leak from his optics as he let out a small whine and downed a large gulp of the energon. It made him feel sick, it made him feel terrible, but he kept it down, focusing on that, rather than his spark.